BFF Jen and I argued about orphans and snow today. And, lucky you – I have captured the moments below for your viewing pleasure. To give it some context, I had just told Jen that I had accidentally spilled water on a book of poems Daniel wrote for me, ruining the first few pages. I tend to be “over-dramatic” and react “dangerously out of proportion to the situation” so I was very sad.
Aaaaand, cue convo:
Jenna: I know, that’s a bummer. But at least you still have it and now you have a good story to go along with it. Or you should make up a good story to go along with it.
Me: The story of my sorrow.
Jenna: Daniel was away on a trip for days and it was the first time you had been apart. And it was Christmas. And it was raining…it hadn’t turned to snow yet. You had gone out Christmas shopping alone and had taken the book of poems with you to have a little piece of him, and when you were coming back into the house, they fell into a puddle.
Me: Awwwwwwww that’s sad, too.
Jenna: Well yeah, it’s supposed to make everyone pity you in your sorrow.
Me: How about an orphan was in our house and knocked a cup of water onto my night stand. He gave us 6 million dollars to make up for it. And why would Daniel leave me on Christmas?? I don’t want him to. He never travels.
Jenna: Oh for the love. Fine, the kid knocked it over and gave you a bunch of cash.
Me: I mean, what, is he going to leave me on VALENTINE’S day, too??
Jenna: Yes. And leave you with the orphan again.
Me: I hate that orphan. He always wants to talk.
Jenna: Shouldn’t have let him in the house.
Me: He just walked in.
Jenna: Well next time push him out.
Me: It was raining! About to turn to snow! On CHRISTMAS.
Jenna: You can’t mix stories!
Me: I just did.
Jenna: Well then that also means Daniel was still gone.
Me: Nuh-uh! Aren’t you listening? He NEVER travels!
Jenna: Yes huh, it’s my story.
Me: It’s my poem book.
Jenna: That you dropped in the puddle.
Me: I DIDN’T DROP IT. THE ORPHAN SPILLED WATER ON IT.
Jenna: Yeah, yeah.
Me: I’m still sad.
Jenna: Then I can’t help you.
Me: Then I have nothing else to say.
Jenna: yes huh. HEY IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY ONE WEEK FROM TODAY
Me: YAY YAY YAY I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY YAY
Jenna: Told ya. Bwahaha.
Me: Aw, shoot. You win this round, Cooper. But I’ll be back.
Jenna: HAAAAAAAAAA. Yesssss.