Do You Want Fries With That?

Do You Want Fries With That?

Well, Obama won. I’ll be honest and say I was disappointed, but them’s the breaks, right? I will be praying for him to make wise decisions as he leads our country. I encourage you to do the same – regardless of your opinion of Obama, he is still our President and we still need to care about our country. 

However, that doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun with it, too.

This morning when Daniel told me Obama had won – my dedication to my country is second only to my dedication to my pillow so I was fast asleep for the results – my first thought was, “Okay. Just four more years. We can do this.”

And then something occurred to me. What will Obama do after his next four years are over? I mean, he has kids, who I am assuming like food and shelter. And he doesn’t appear to have any kind of magic wand or leprechaun to provide him with resources. So what will his next job be? **Disclaimer** I know there is probably an answer to this. I don’t care about that answer. Mine is more hilarious.

I like to picture President Obama walking into a Barnes & Noble in about 4.5 years. He will walk up to the counter, straighten his tie, and say, “I’d like an application, please.” A bored teenager will hand one over to him without looking up from his Angry Birds game and Obama will sit on a nearby couch, filling out his application, wedged between George W. and Sarah Palin.

Just picture it. For the section about his former jobs he would have to put “President of the United States of America.” That’s awesome. 

Then, of course, the interview process would be next. Still wearing his best suit, he would sit down with the manager of the store – a guy named Bobby who wasn’t even eligible to vote in the last election because of his age – and proceed to answer some of the typical interview questions:

Bobby: So, Mr… How do you say it?

Obama: It’s Oh-bah-mah.

Bobby: Right, sorry. So, Mr. Obama –

Obama: It’s President, actually.

Bobby: Sorry?

Obama: It’s not Mr. Obama; it’s President Obama.

Bobby: Listen, Mr. Obama, the first thing you need to know to work here is that we are all team players. There’s no room for any superstars here. May I continue?

Obama: Sorry; of course.

Bobby: What do you think qualifies you to work here at the B & N?

Obama: Well, I have great leadership skills.

Bobby: Can you give me an example?

Obama: Uh – well, I led a country for eight years.

Bobby: Mmhmm, I see. I noticed that you also wrote down that you had your last job for a while and then it suddenly ended. Tell me what happened there.

Obama: Well, that job had predetermined time limits. You can’t work there for more than eight years in that position.

Bobby: Mr. Obama, we don’t like the word “can’t” around here. And we don’t like excuses. It sounds to me like the job got too hard after eight years.

Obama: No… I mean, they made me leave. I didn’t have a choice. It’s the law.

Bobby: So you’re telling me you were fired.

Obama: NO. I knew it would not be a permanent job when I took it. That is how the job is set up.

Bobby: Okay. Is there anything else you want to add?

Obama: Just that I also love the work of J.K. Rowling and Stephenie Meyer and would be a great help to shoppers in the teen and young adult section.

Bobby: Great. We’ll call you.

AAAAnd scene.

Tell me that wasn’t the best thing you’ve ever pictured.

Good luck and God bless you, President Obama. And if you get to work at Barnes & Noble, call me. I applied like a million times in high school and need to know what I was missing.

“And then I got to see the BREAKROOM. Boom. Obama’s back in action.”
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