Grandparents are great, aren’t they? They are nice and fun and awesome. And here’s a secret about grandparents:
Mine are better than yours.
That’s right. I went there. Mine. Are. Better. What’s that? You want me to prove it? And you want me to use pictures as a visual aid? Fine, but this is the last time
today. I present to you the following evidence that my grandparents are better than yours.
These are my grandparents:
Cute, right?? I call them Mamaw and Papaw. Which leads me to the first reason my grandparents put all other grandparents to shame: You can totally call them Mamaw and Papaw, too. My grandparents will instantly adopt any of my friends (a trait my mother inherited) and extend their grandparent-ness to you. They will pretend you are theirs and ask you all sorts of questions, and then you get cookies. I know they have real names, but I think they would consider a legal change to Mamaw and Papaw – that is how dedicated they are to being your fake grandparents. Try them out – you’ll like them. Oh, sorry, what’s that? You hate awesome jokes and the Game Show Network? Then you have NO SOUL and my grandparents are not for you. The rest of you, look for a message from me with their address – GROUP VISIT!!!
Reason #2 my grandparents kick grandparenting booty is Mamaw’s crocheting. She is the quickest crocheter this side of the Mississippi. She can crochet anything. I’m pretty sure she crocheted the Mona Lisa once. Okay, fine – but she could. She makes doilies and blankets and sometimes she makes a super-complicated thing that has no name, shows it to you, and then unravels the entire thing. That is how awesome of a crocheter she is: she doesn’t even care about the awesomeness – she is beyond it. She takes your compliments and crochets them into a blanket, gives that blanket to a cute puppy and then after he snuggles up in it she makes another one and unravels it in front of that puppy, but it’s okay because he has the first one. You’ve just been Mamawed.
|“COME AT ME, KNITTERS.”|
The next reason my grandparents are this best can be summed up like this:
That, my friends, is a digital picture frame. They have a digital camera. However, my grandparents don’t like to take the little card out of the camera and put it in the frame, but they want to use the frame. So all day long, the frame flips between the time, the West, flowers, and the weather. All day long. Tell me that isn’t fabulous. And if you ask them about it, they will very patiently explain to you that the pictures that come with the frame are better than the ones they took anyway. That’s what we call a win-win.
The next reason is Christmas. Every year, Mamaw decorates their house like they are in an indoor Christmas competition. And if there were such a thing they would totally win every year because Mamaw is not kidding around about Christmas. Every year, Papaw says he wont put up any more decorations for her. Every year, he puts up more decorations for her. He secretly loves it. They have plates, tablecloths, magnets, statues, villages, singing toys, clocks – they even have a toilet seat cover with Santa’s face. A toilet. Seat. Cover.
|Don’t mind me. I’m just here to make you comfortable.|
The next reason they are awesome:
My grandparents tell each other they love each other all the time. And they mean it. They have been married for 51 years, and my Papaw still writes cute love notes to my Mamaw :) How can it get better than that?
So there you have it. Irrefutable evidence that my grandparents put all other grandparents to shame. They are not just grandparents, but super-duper, are you even for real or is this a dream, have some free gum grandparents. I love them and I am so glad I get to be their granddaughter! Don’t forget – YOU CAN BE THEIR GRANDKID, TOO!!!